Sharing by Ustazah Fatimah Syarha

In the midst of feeling internally turbulent, partly because of a certain viral birth/death-related Facebook post, Allah sent me a gentle nudge to remind me of my duties as a gentle birth advocate. A dear sis Nor Ida, a former Yaqyn Birther, tagged me in a Malaysian Ustazah’s video post sharing spiritual tips on her gentle birth experience, and said that she was reminded of the tips I shared 4 years ago. 4 years ago! MashaAllah. :’)

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What are the tips? Here are the tips shared by Ustazah Fatimah Syarha in her video which I have transcribed in full below [in MALAY]:

Assalamualaikum wr wb

Salam sebarkan bahagia buat semua.
Semoga semua hari ini bahagia dan bersyukur dengan nikmat Allah swt.

Alhamdulillah hari ini sepatutnya saya membuat fb live bersama kalian semua untuk pelancaran buku Solitude, tapi Allah izin baby nak keluar awal. Alhamdulillah syukur.

Tak sangka ramai yang tanya kepada saya tip nak lahirkan anak dengan mudah.
Tak koyak, tak jahit, tak gunting, tak ambik apa-apa alat penahan sakit.

Ya Allah, saya bukanlah insan terbaik untuk share tips dan amalan untuk mudah bersalin tapi apa yang mampu saya kongsikan sikit untuk manfaat semua muslimah di luar sana. InshaAllah saya akan kongsikan beberapa tip yang saya petik daripada buku Solitude dan memang buku ini menjadi teman baik saya sepanjang proses kelahiran ini.

Semua yang saya sayangi,
pertama kita nak jelas bahawa kita ada Allah dalam hidup jadi kita nak sangka baik dgn Allah swt dulu. Dalam buku solitude saya ada selitkan satu hadith yang sangat membakar semangat saya untuk bersangka baik dgn Allah swt.

Nabi saw ada menyebut firman Allah dalam satu hadis Qursi riwayat Tirmizi, sahih di sisi Tirmizi. Juga riwayat Ibnu Majah dan sahih di sisi Ibnu Majah. Allah swt berfirman:

Ana ‘inda zhanni ‘ abdi bi (Aku berada dalam sangkaan hambaku terhadapku)

Jadi sebelum bersalin, kita nak sangka yang Allah akan tolong, Allah dekat, Allah bersama. Kena banyak ingat Allah. Allahlah kekuatan sebenar-benar kekuatan . Tak sangka yang Allah akan mampukan saya bersalin dengan senyuman, dengan ceria, boleh sapa doctor, boleh sapa org2 yg ada disekeliling itu buat mereka bahagia. Kesian mereka, stress kan nak buat kerja-kerja sebegini. Jadi kita yang berniat memberi kebahagiaan kepada mereka walaupun kita tengah sakit . Niat itu main peranan untuk menjaga emosi dan ketenangan diri sepanjang proses nak lahirkan anak.

Allah janji: Wa ana ma’ahu hiina yazkuruni. Fain zakarani fi nafsihi , zakartuhu fi nafsi

(Jika dia menyebutKu dalam dirinya, Aku pun akan menyebutnya dalam diriKu . Jika dia menyebutKu di suatu tempat , maka Aku akan menyebutnya di dalam tempat yg lebih baik darinya)

Jadi syarat kita nak dpt kekuatan daripada hadith ini, ada 9 syarat. Ah, 9 syarat, 9 syarat… apa dia?

Pertama syaratnya: Yakin
Kedua: Yakin
Ketiga : Sangat yakin
Keempat: Kena tetapkan keyakinan
Kelima: Bertambah yakin
Keenam: Yakin dan terus yakin
Ketujuh: Yakin yakin yakin
Kelapan: Tetap yakin
dan kesembilan: Keyakinan itu perlu dibuktikan dgn tindakan

…dan Ya Allah Ra Rabbi, syukur sangat sebab dalam buku ini bukan satu hadith ni saja bagi kekuatan, banyak lagi ayat-ayat al-Quran yang lain hadith2 sahih yang lain yang bila kita baca tu kita rasa this is the best motivation yg kita perlukan dalam hidup bersama keyakinan bersama jiwa yg ada Allah. InshaAllah hidup kita kuat walaupun dalam hidup ini kita terpaksa lalui banyak detik-detik kesakitan, kesakitan ujian, kesakitan fizikal dan sebagainya, tapi dengan ada yang Maha Kuat, kesakitan itu boleh diatasi dgn ketenangan. Benar sungguh, benar sungguh janji Allah dalam Al-Quran. Orang yang banyak ingat Allah itu hatinya tenang dan dengan ketenangan itu adalah kekuatan untuk kita dapat kebaikan-kebaikan yg besar dalam kehidupan. Ini tip paling penting untuk kita pegang sebagai satu keyakinan dalam hidup kita.

InshaAllah kalian semua mampu, mampu buat lebih baik daripada saya . Kita nak sama-sama doa mendoakan, kuat menguatkan saling lengkapkan, saling memotivasikan untuk hidup dgn penuh keyakinan bahawa hanya hidup bersama Allah hidup akan bahagia.

Salam sayang, salam sebarkan bahagia daripada saya Fatimah Syarha sekeluarga. Terima kasih atas doa-doa semua. Sayang semuanya kerana Allah. Assalamualaikum waramatullah.

In a gist, she shares about how our basis in life starts with INTENTION (niat) and then followed by CERTAINTY, CERTAINTY, CERTAINTY (Yakin, Yakin, Yakin) that Allah is always with us. When our life is guided by such principles, peace will follow. Alhamdulillah, the name of my birth company YAQYN is based along these same principles, and that whatever we do, we must be certain that Allah is with us, Allah will help and guide us, and whatever outcome Allah chooses for us in the end, we must be certain that it is the best for us. This is husnuz zhon (good assumption), and we must always make good assumption with Allah, for He Knows Best.

Wallahu a’lam (He Knows Best).

That said, I’m just so happy I am being remembered for my good tips even if it has been many years ago, and I pray that it will always be so, InshaAllah! May Allah continue to guide us in everything that we do. Yakin! 😀
-Hanani

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Handling the emotions

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Sometimes I get fun and quirky couples who will not hesitate to share their pregnancy laments, though most of them tongue-in-cheek. The other day, a husband quipped that he “…nak tengok bola pun tak boleh, wifey moody je, how?”, and that really made me chuckle.

Dear wives, having been pregnant multiple times myself, I truly understand the (sometimes unexplained) neediness and emotional outbursts, which I’m not spared of myself, hee! So here’s sharing with you a quick tip to help you get through the testing days/weeks/months.

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(Before that, quick note for the clueless husbands: yes, pregnant women can get very needy and even a 0.5 sec of inattention away from her can sometimes cause floodgates of tears to open. Don’t ask us why, its the hormones! 😉 These also include but not limited to other things like:

1) not giving her complete attention when she is telling you something (even though unintentional!)
2) forgetting to ask her what she had for breakfast/lunch/dinner. Or forgetting to ask if she had even eaten… Oops.
3) not getting the hints about her cravings she’s dropped to you (Dear wives, stop with the hints already. Just tell him what you want! 😂)
4) forgetting to get her what she asked you to (especially if its a craving!)
5) replying simply with an “eh?” when she complains to you about her backache, leg aches or sore anything
6) complaining that you had such a tiring day at work (unless you’ve already asked her about her day plus act completely interested about it – that, or unless she asks first).
7) …and many more.

And if you wish to focus on your soccer game at night, remember to get her something she likes before that! 💝🎁

My humble advice: do try and put in extra extra effort at this stage because it is not only for her, it is for your own good too. This is really not the time to convince your wife that she is strong and independent so she’ll manage well on her own (oh dear, no!). Remember the golden rule: A happy mummy makes a happy baby! And a happy baby will make a happy daddy kan? Sabar ye, tak lama… 9 bulan aje 😁

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That said, if you’re already the thoughtful husband who’s never committed any of the ‘offences’ above, I say Thank You Very Much on behalf of all pregnant mothers out there 👏. At this point, I’d also like to thank DH for being very supportive throughout my pregnancies, especially in the care of the younger ones, Alhamdulillah 😘).

Where was I?
Oh yes, back to the quick tip on how to deal with our own emotions as a pregnant mum.
So the next time you feel a potential emotional moment setting in, and your hubbies just don’t seem to get it, my advice is not to let your emotions get the best of you. Just tell yourself:

“Oh Allah, I gladly accept this test as long as dear hubby is contented (redha) with me during labour and birth”.

I promise you that this will instantly light up your heart, InshaAllah! Remember that you are never alone, Allah is always with you! 💞💖💞💖

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