Am I walking too much?

“If I walk too much, will I give birth to a premature baby?”
“Am I having backaches and pelvic pain because I walked too much?”

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Walking with the family is a great way to de-stress

Someone told me she was worried about giving birth prematurely if she walked too much. I asked if she has had issues in her pregnancy so far, and she said no. Then I said, in that case walking is good for you and baby, so please walk more!

These questions are valid concerns and I’m glad these mums-to-be asked me for clarification rather than prescribing themselves more bed rest. Bed rest means less physical activity and less physical activity means more potential problems during labour. So less time on the bed/sofa and more time on your feet is one tip to help ease your labour.

Why is walking good for you? Here are 5 reasons:

  1. More opportunities of being outdoors with fresh air and vitamin D from the sun. Walking produces endorphins, or good feelings from your happy hormones.
  2. Walking is one of the best cardiovascular exercises during pregnancy. It is gentle and does not require equipment other than a good pair of shoes (no heels please!). It keeps your heart pumping and lifts your mood at the same time.
  3. You make your muscles, especially the psoas and the piriformis, work and condition them for labour.
  4. Being upright (gravity) helps get baby deeper down into the birth canal.
  5. It’s free!

So do I have to worry about a premature birth?

Unless you have other underlying medical issues, there is nothing to worry about, InshaAllah! You see, many factors come into play before labour can start. Firstly, baby must be in a good position, and is low or close enough to the cervix. Secondly, baby himself must be ready, and their lungs will secrete a protein to signal onset of labour. Thirdly, the cervix must be effaced (soft and thin) and dilated (open) to allow baby to pass through the birth canal. Fourthly (but not lastly), mum herself has to be in a ready state of mind. So don’t worry about giving birth too soon before baby or mum is ready, walk lots to have a smoother labour when it eventually starts at its own time.

But I feel that walking too much will cause me to have backaches…how?

Walking won’t cause you to have backaches, in fact mobility actually helps to alleviate aches and pains. If you’re feeling like walking causes you to have more pain, check:

  • if footwear is causing the problem (please invest in good footwear!)
  • if posture is good (chest out, belly out, shoulders not hunching and tuck your tailbone in)
  • are you drinking enough? Dehydration could be a major cause for muscle aches
  • do you have symphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD)? (If yes, then there are strategies to help give relief)

Many degrees of walking

Of course, what kind of walking is best? Window shopping constitutes walking too, but is that helpful for labour? (Ans: Yes, but not much). The most helpful kinds of walks are those that encourage the pelvis to really move and open. Power walking is one example. Walking uphill or on a terrain is also good. And how much walking should be done?  Ideally you should walk as much as you sit. So if you spend 8 hours sitting in the office chair, it is good if you can also cover 8 hours of walking, though this sounds unlikely achievable.  But that is a rough measure of how much walking should be incorporated daily.

At the end of the day, you should be happy with the things that you hope to do. Start with a positive and open mind. Never do things feeling resentful which will end with you in tears and stress. Pregnancy should be a happy and worry-free period! Take a break and tune in to your body if you ever start feeling out of touch. Listen to what your body needs.

May you always be in Allah’s care!

-Hanani

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The Birth of Ahmad Ali

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Syariati and her son, Ahmad Ali

 

I have known this beautiful lady since we were children tagging along our parents to religious/arabic class. She was fondly known as ‘Sherry’ then. We lost touch after that, till 2013 when Allah chanced for us to be yoga-mates at Kak Ella’s prenatal class. We immediately clicked again and the rest is history. This lovely lady has a special interest in essential oils for kids and is now training to become a doula, InshaAllah. I am truly excited for her! Read her gentle birth story below – Nur Hanani

Pregnancy, Labour and Birth of Ahmad Ali.

Every time I recall this birth story, I feel so much love, so blessed, so full of happiness. It was an empowering and humbling experience. I really felt Allah was with me through my labour and birth. It was beautiful.

Ahmad was not a planned baby. He was gifted when we least expected it. I had planned to space out my pregnancies (3-4yrs) after my first child. It took me a while to embrace the fact that I was pregnant but I eventually did. My husband and I decided that we would wait to go for a prenatal checkup at the hospital. I was fine and didn’t have any morning sickness whatsoever.

At week 12 into my pregnancy, I experienced bleeding. We decided to get a slot with Dr Citra (NUH). I called her office and managed to speak to her. She advised me to go to A&E to make sure that baby was ok. Alhamdulillah, that same week, we went to get checked and everything was ok, I had a polyp that might have caused the bleeding. It was harmless. We proceeded with routine checks with Dr Citra and discovered that she was friendly, supportive and open to discussions. She was ok with me having a birth plan and each visit was pleasant.

A little later into the pregnancy, my husband and I decided to go for a birthing class with a doula. we focused and I had a clearer image of what my birth should be, how I wanted it. This time, I did not want any interventions at all. I wanted to let baby come at his own time. I would wait it out.

The birthplan was done and submitted with minimal editing. The only thing Dr Citra negotiated with us was to have another plan of action in case I didn’t deliver by 41wks 3 days. It was hospital policy. I agreed.

I continued yoga, eating reasonably well and waited. 40 weeks came and baby didn’t show, there were on and off contractions that went away with rest or sleep. I was getting impatient but did not want to be induced. I asked baby to come out into the world. 41 weeks came, I had skipped my checks. I became more impatient because I just wanted to birth with my Dr before she went on a holiday. I also did not wish to go against her advice of exceeding the 41wks 3 days. I prayed and realised that I was being selfish. I wanted a natural, intervention free birth, yet I was expecting to give birth by a certain time. I did lunges, squats, more yoga, dance, sex, bouncing on the birthing ball and even JUMPNG JACKS. Nothing induced my labour.

25th November 2015 I just got fed up. I told baby, that it was fine to come out when he was ready. I cried and submitted to Allah to help me. That afternoon, I stayed in my room and went to sleep.

6pm I woke up and had dinner. I felt mild contractions and informed my husband. It was bearable and we decided to go out for a drive, sending my mom in law for the classes at the masjid.

9ish pm we were at East Coast Park, I bought Nuggets and a Grape Float and ate through my pain. It was romantic. I enjoyed it, bending forward and rotating my hips to manage the pain.

10.30pm we went back to the car, I felt more intense pain. I sat in the car and remember breathing through the pain. My husband was calm. He drove to the masjid again where I then stepped out of the car to speak with the ustaz that night. He was giving advice on what to read and doa to quicken labour. Nobody but my husband and I knew that I was already into labour.

We reached home and put my Muhammad to sleep. I laboured in the room. My husband helped keep timing of the contractions, we were waiting for the right time to go. Somewhere in there, my mucus plug came and I started light bleeding. I asked a dear Doula friend and she encouraged me saying that it was progress. Let my body do what it needs. I managed to lie down on my side to rest for about 20mins. My husband massaged my back and applied soothing essential oils as we worked through the pains.

I believe it was past midnight.. I got up from my rest as I felt my baby moving down. I got up and was in so much pain that I vomited all my dinner and junk food out. After that I took a hot shower and got ready. I told my husband that I wanted to go to the hospital immediately. It was 1.30am ish. He said we will go at 2am. I said, no. NOW. So we prepared to go. He told his parents that I was going to the hospital to give birth, they had no idea how far along into the labour I was.

I was having irregular contractions at 6-8mins intervals but the pain was intense that told me that I was ready. We were ready. I walked to the taxi stand a couple of blocks away. when we got to the taxi stand, a huge surge came, I could no longer talk and was in the zone.

We got a cab almost immediately, and the driver, knowing that I had labour pain drove safely. My waterbag broke in the cab just as we turned one traffic light after we boarded. I felt water gushing and stopping. I had never felt this before. Each time a contraction came, I felt my baby going down and more water gushed out. I was happy. I was meeting my baby soon.

By the time we reached the hospital, I couldn’t walk. I knew that my baby was coming really soon. my husband half ran half walked to the delivery suite and as soon I we got in, I said, “BABY IS COMINNNG!”

2.15am we reached the hospital.
The team told me to get on the bed , I just did as told, they wanted to detect my baby’s heartbeat but couldn’t find it. I just repeated, that my baby was coming. True enough, I was already crowning, subhanallah. They told me not to push, I didn’t. They guided me to breathe, and finally give a tiny push, deep. My baby slowly came out at 2.45am. Ya Allah, I could not have asked for a better labour. My Dr came in shortly and helped make sure my placenta was delivered. I had minimal tearing.

I got my birth crawl, my baby had 1hr or more of skin to skin. totally no interventions and I felt so happy, alive and excited to be with my baby. After that I asked for some food and was high that I couldn’t sleep. I saw my baby and he was beautiful. I would go through it all over again. I was humbled by the power of accepting, submitting and letting Allah handle my affairs. So, blessed, humbled and in awe. Ahmad is now close to 10 mths old as I write this. Alhamdulillah indeed.

Sharing by Ustazah Fatimah Syarha

In the midst of feeling internally turbulent, partly because of a certain viral birth/death-related Facebook post, Allah sent me a gentle nudge to remind me of my duties as a gentle birth advocate. A dear sis Nor Ida, a former Yaqyn Birther, tagged me in a Malaysian Ustazah’s video post sharing spiritual tips on her gentle birth experience, and said that she was reminded of the tips I shared 4 years ago. 4 years ago! MashaAllah. :’)

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What are the tips? Here are the tips shared by Ustazah Fatimah Syarha in her video which I have transcribed in full below [in MALAY]:

Assalamualaikum wr wb

Salam sebarkan bahagia buat semua.
Semoga semua hari ini bahagia dan bersyukur dengan nikmat Allah swt.

Alhamdulillah hari ini sepatutnya saya membuat fb live bersama kalian semua untuk pelancaran buku Solitude, tapi Allah izin baby nak keluar awal. Alhamdulillah syukur.

Tak sangka ramai yang tanya kepada saya tip nak lahirkan anak dengan mudah.
Tak koyak, tak jahit, tak gunting, tak ambik apa-apa alat penahan sakit.

Ya Allah, saya bukanlah insan terbaik untuk share tips dan amalan untuk mudah bersalin tapi apa yang mampu saya kongsikan sikit untuk manfaat semua muslimah di luar sana. InshaAllah saya akan kongsikan beberapa tip yang saya petik daripada buku Solitude dan memang buku ini menjadi teman baik saya sepanjang proses kelahiran ini.

Semua yang saya sayangi,
pertama kita nak jelas bahawa kita ada Allah dalam hidup jadi kita nak sangka baik dgn Allah swt dulu. Dalam buku solitude saya ada selitkan satu hadith yang sangat membakar semangat saya untuk bersangka baik dgn Allah swt.

Nabi saw ada menyebut firman Allah dalam satu hadis Qursi riwayat Tirmizi, sahih di sisi Tirmizi. Juga riwayat Ibnu Majah dan sahih di sisi Ibnu Majah. Allah swt berfirman:

Ana ‘inda zhanni ‘ abdi bi (Aku berada dalam sangkaan hambaku terhadapku)

Jadi sebelum bersalin, kita nak sangka yang Allah akan tolong, Allah dekat, Allah bersama. Kena banyak ingat Allah. Allahlah kekuatan sebenar-benar kekuatan . Tak sangka yang Allah akan mampukan saya bersalin dengan senyuman, dengan ceria, boleh sapa doctor, boleh sapa org2 yg ada disekeliling itu buat mereka bahagia. Kesian mereka, stress kan nak buat kerja-kerja sebegini. Jadi kita yang berniat memberi kebahagiaan kepada mereka walaupun kita tengah sakit . Niat itu main peranan untuk menjaga emosi dan ketenangan diri sepanjang proses nak lahirkan anak.

Allah janji: Wa ana ma’ahu hiina yazkuruni. Fain zakarani fi nafsihi , zakartuhu fi nafsi

(Jika dia menyebutKu dalam dirinya, Aku pun akan menyebutnya dalam diriKu . Jika dia menyebutKu di suatu tempat , maka Aku akan menyebutnya di dalam tempat yg lebih baik darinya)

Jadi syarat kita nak dpt kekuatan daripada hadith ini, ada 9 syarat. Ah, 9 syarat, 9 syarat… apa dia?

Pertama syaratnya: Yakin
Kedua: Yakin
Ketiga : Sangat yakin
Keempat: Kena tetapkan keyakinan
Kelima: Bertambah yakin
Keenam: Yakin dan terus yakin
Ketujuh: Yakin yakin yakin
Kelapan: Tetap yakin
dan kesembilan: Keyakinan itu perlu dibuktikan dgn tindakan

…dan Ya Allah Ra Rabbi, syukur sangat sebab dalam buku ini bukan satu hadith ni saja bagi kekuatan, banyak lagi ayat-ayat al-Quran yang lain hadith2 sahih yang lain yang bila kita baca tu kita rasa this is the best motivation yg kita perlukan dalam hidup bersama keyakinan bersama jiwa yg ada Allah. InshaAllah hidup kita kuat walaupun dalam hidup ini kita terpaksa lalui banyak detik-detik kesakitan, kesakitan ujian, kesakitan fizikal dan sebagainya, tapi dengan ada yang Maha Kuat, kesakitan itu boleh diatasi dgn ketenangan. Benar sungguh, benar sungguh janji Allah dalam Al-Quran. Orang yang banyak ingat Allah itu hatinya tenang dan dengan ketenangan itu adalah kekuatan untuk kita dapat kebaikan-kebaikan yg besar dalam kehidupan. Ini tip paling penting untuk kita pegang sebagai satu keyakinan dalam hidup kita.

InshaAllah kalian semua mampu, mampu buat lebih baik daripada saya . Kita nak sama-sama doa mendoakan, kuat menguatkan saling lengkapkan, saling memotivasikan untuk hidup dgn penuh keyakinan bahawa hanya hidup bersama Allah hidup akan bahagia.

Salam sayang, salam sebarkan bahagia daripada saya Fatimah Syarha sekeluarga. Terima kasih atas doa-doa semua. Sayang semuanya kerana Allah. Assalamualaikum waramatullah.

In a gist, she shares about how our basis in life starts with INTENTION (niat) and then followed by CERTAINTY, CERTAINTY, CERTAINTY (Yakin, Yakin, Yakin) that Allah is always with us. When our life is guided by such principles, peace will follow. Alhamdulillah, the name of my birth company YAQYN is based along these same principles, and that whatever we do, we must be certain that Allah is with us, Allah will help and guide us, and whatever outcome Allah chooses for us in the end, we must be certain that it is the best for us. This is husnuz zhon (good assumption), and we must always make good assumption with Allah, for He Knows Best.

Wallahu a’lam (He Knows Best).

That said, I’m just so happy I am being remembered for my good tips even if it has been many years ago, and I pray that it will always be so, InshaAllah! May Allah continue to guide us in everything that we do. Yakin! 😀
-Hanani

Handling the emotions

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Sometimes I get fun and quirky couples who will not hesitate to share their pregnancy laments, though most of them tongue-in-cheek. The other day, a husband quipped that he “…nak tengok bola pun tak boleh, wifey moody je, how?”, and that really made me chuckle.

Dear wives, having been pregnant multiple times myself, I truly understand the (sometimes unexplained) neediness and emotional outbursts, which I’m not spared of myself, hee! So here’s sharing with you a quick tip to help you get through the testing days/weeks/months.

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(Before that, quick note for the clueless husbands: yes, pregnant women can get very needy and even a 0.5 sec of inattention away from her can sometimes cause floodgates of tears to open. Don’t ask us why, its the hormones! 😉 These also include but not limited to other things like:

1) not giving her complete attention when she is telling you something (even though unintentional!)
2) forgetting to ask her what she had for breakfast/lunch/dinner. Or forgetting to ask if she had even eaten… Oops.
3) not getting the hints about her cravings she’s dropped to you (Dear wives, stop with the hints already. Just tell him what you want! 😂)
4) forgetting to get her what she asked you to (especially if its a craving!)
5) replying simply with an “eh?” when she complains to you about her backache, leg aches or sore anything
6) complaining that you had such a tiring day at work (unless you’ve already asked her about her day plus act completely interested about it – that, or unless she asks first).
7) …and many more.

And if you wish to focus on your soccer game at night, remember to get her something she likes before that! 💝🎁

My humble advice: do try and put in extra extra effort at this stage because it is not only for her, it is for your own good too. This is really not the time to convince your wife that she is strong and independent so she’ll manage well on her own (oh dear, no!). Remember the golden rule: A happy mummy makes a happy baby! And a happy baby will make a happy daddy kan? Sabar ye, tak lama… 9 bulan aje 😁

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That said, if you’re already the thoughtful husband who’s never committed any of the ‘offences’ above, I say Thank You Very Much on behalf of all pregnant mothers out there 👏. At this point, I’d also like to thank DH for being very supportive throughout my pregnancies, especially in the care of the younger ones, Alhamdulillah 😘).

Where was I?
Oh yes, back to the quick tip on how to deal with our own emotions as a pregnant mum.
So the next time you feel a potential emotional moment setting in, and your hubbies just don’t seem to get it, my advice is not to let your emotions get the best of you. Just tell yourself:

“Oh Allah, I gladly accept this test as long as dear hubby is contented (redha) with me during labour and birth”.

I promise you that this will instantly light up your heart, InshaAllah! Remember that you are never alone, Allah is always with you! 💞💖💞💖

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